The break up of a relationship can cause intense emotional states which can make it hard to keep your balance. And if you tend towards a more melancholy personality it can be easy to fall into self pity and depression. This may sometimes lead you to secretly hope that perhaps if your ex girlfriend knows how much pain you are in she will feel sorry for you and you will get back together again. It may seem easier to go looking for sympathy instead of love and this may succeed in getting your exgirlfriend's attention for awhile, many women have a tendency to feel they need to rescue and help when they see someone in distress. But think about why this will backfire on you in the long run. In effect you are saddling your ex girlfriend with your emotional pain, and because women are usually more sensitive and nurturing she may come back to you just to save you from hurting so bad, but this doesn't lay the foundation for a good relationship, you are planting the seeds for a very dysfunctional, co-dependent type of relationship instead.
A relationship that will only cause both of you a lot of unhappiness in the future. And even if you don't consciously realize you are doing it this falls under the category of manipulative behaviors - a serious relationship killer. You may get your ex girlfriend to feel sorry for you and even succeed in getting her to come back, but would you rather have pity or real love? Looking for sympathy instead of love may get your ex girlfriend's attention for awhile, but in the end you will be further behind than when you started. You deserve better, and if you don't think so then you need to find ways to boost your confidence and start liking yourself more. If you really want to win your ex girlfriend back you have to understand that you just cannot build a healthy relationship when you are being needy, clingy and emotional desperate. Instead it's really important that you take time right now to work on yourself.
Do things that help you to feel better, stronger and happier, and you will not only begin to like yourself more but you will become more attractive to your ex too. Then you will be ready to begin planning a SMARTER strategy for getting your ex girlfriend back.
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